What's happening at the DMV?

For the second time in two years, I've had to make a trip to the NC Driver's License office.
The first time for the usual, ' I just moved to the state and need to transfer all my crap' visit.

At that visit, I thought it interesting that all the men working at the NC DMV in Cary, were clones of each other, all older men and wearing these awful uniforms.. kind of a weird 1970's police officer/mailman combo, complete with skinny tie and black-backed name tag (last name only, of course).

So after being pulled over for exceeding the speed limit for the triskillionth time since becoming an NC resident, I and the nice Apex police-man discovered that sometime in the last few weeks I've lost my driver's license. Not in my wallet, not in my checkbook, not in my glove compartment, not anywhere in my car (although there is an un-opened yoplait yogurt under the passenger seat - oh joy) but alas, no driver's license. The nice Apex police man let me go (the first time that's happened since becoming an NC resident) as long as I presented my new driver's license within 48 hours.

My kindly supervisor let me leave at lunch yesterday to go to the DMV for a replacement - this time I went to a different office.

This visit, there were all women in the DMV, all in the same horrible uniforms, and all sporting sparkly blue eyeshadow and yes, WINGS..ala Heather Locklear in her "Sammy Jo" days on Dallas. Disturbing. What's happening? Is there some code in NC that the office must pick an 'era' and all employees must oblige and style hair and make up to fit that era? Do they leave the office each day and re-enter 2006? Is there some sort of shower-in/shower-out policy like in a clean lab? It can't be that these women all just happen to prefer this style and all work together can it? I am concerned.

I really shouldn't complain. I was in and out in under 30 minutes the proud owner of a nice, shiny new NC driver's license, horrible picture and all.

Things that make me go hmmmm..

It's only 7:48 Am.

Here's what's happened so far today.

When I got up to let the dog out, on my deck right in front of the grill was a perfect specimen of the animal commonly known as 'grey squirrel'..perfect in every way except he was thoroughly dead. How did this come about? Why would you pick my deck to spend your last moments little squirrel? Imagine my dog's glee when he saw it. Imagine the wave of nausuea as I attempted to retrieve one dead squirrel from my dog who thought 'flip the squirrel up and try to catch it' was a great pre-breakfast game. Ew.

There was a message on my cell phone this morning from my friends in Virginia, I'm paraphrasing but the gist of the message was

"Hey, why don't you come up this weekend, A.'s roller ball team is having a jello-wrestling thing at a bar downtown"

First of all - ROLLER BALL?! Seriously? Who knew A. was playing roller ball? I thought roller ball was just 'real' in Happy Days re-runs. Second - what does roller ball have to do with jello-wrestling? Lastly, most importantly why do they think I want to go?

While flipping stations on my much-loved Satellite radio this morning, I stumbled across a band called 'GOAT WHORE'... so, there's a garage band (come on, has to be) and they are sitting around trying to come up with a name to plaster on their demo CD , and this was what they came up with? Please try to imagine the discussion that took place to arrive at GOAT WHORE. Talk amongst yourselves and get back to me.

Okay, so I admit after re-reading this that maybe it's not weird for some people but this is a weird start to my day. I'm a little scared of what's ahead.