Monday, October 15, 2007

Things to come

It’s Sunday evening, and I’m watching an episode of Star Trek. The original one, when William Shatner was young, lean, and kinda hot even in day-glow yellow polyester and jack boots.

Yesterday I had a wicked headache for most of the afternoon, so the only thing I managed to do was clean out my truck. Late last night, I finished reading a book that I wanted to like more than I did. I kept hoping it would get better, right up to the last few pages. Earlier today I cleaned my house, did laundry, went grocery shopping, ran, did some dog training, and cleaned out my refrigerator drawers. I have nothing else on my ‘need to do list’ (shut up - I like lists.)

There’s really nothing wrong with all this, but something happened tonight that made me think of the person I was in my twenties. *That* girl wouldn’t have spent a weekend like this unless she was dying of some Mongolian body rot. That’s not to say I was the ‘belle of the ball’ by any means, but I was busy. My last semester in college I took 28 credits, worked 25 – 30 hours a week and I did my volunteer rotation hours where the director of my program told me to - for another 15 hours. I was quite literally, on the run, constantly. One of my roommates at that time was living the same life and getting divorced. We also had a crazy alcoholic roommate who was either drunk, getting drunk, passed out and pissing on our couch, or passed out and setting the kitchen on fire. (Yes, really.)

After graduation in May, the drunk roommate went to rehab, the other roommate moved to Arizona with her biker boyfriend and I moved into a little guest house on a horse farm. My full time job never went over 40 hours and I had NO idea what to do with all that free time. By fall I was back in college, taking Tae-Kwon-Do, and exercising the horses in the morning before work. Two and a half years later I had to leave the horse farm. I bought a condo, changed jobs, gave up Tae-Kwon-Do, got ‘serious’ with a boyfriend, started racing motorcycles, and got my start in dog training.

When I look at all that, it gets me wondering what happened to all that energy? motivation? Where did it go exactly and when? And how did I miss it leaving? Shouldn’t something that big require an announcement? a parade?, at least a trumpet? Maybe “Taps” would have been appropriate.

Is this how balding men feel? They just look in the mirror one day and suddenly the comb-over is not only an option, but the only option? And they’re all “it was just here yesterday.”

It’s no comb-over, people, but I do not like the look of this.


rennratt said...

Quite frankly, I would like some of the energy that you have NOW.

You did all of that with a headache?!

I would have accomplished precisely ONE load of laundry. If that. The rest would be nap and medication!

wordnerd said...

I'm with Renn -- you got all that done with a headache? Sheesh! Pretty impressive.

You might find yourself pining for the fun of your twenties, but doesn't this feel much better, really?

kenju said...

I agree with Renn and Wordnerd. The 20's are hectic (even when they don't need to be), the thirties are more focused and the 40's are terrific - when LIFE really does begin. Don't worry about not haveing the same energy as you did in your 20's. You have what you really need!

Roo said...

it was only about a year ago that i regularly (like saturday and sunday) rolled into my house at 4 am.
my mom even said yesterday, "you guys hardly ever go out anymore."
part of me feels weird about that. but i ran a lot because i wasn't settled.
now i'm settled and do things like cuddle with a not as big as i thought dog and test message a favorite person the pics and other dyslexic messages about movies with number titles that i get wrong.
instead of running...i plan trips to go sledding and walk good dogs on the beach.
its all good, sister.

No Celery Please said...

I am a proud self-proclaimed fuddy duddy.

So what if I like to fall asleep on the couch at 8?

Who cares if I would now rather gouge my eyeballs out with a spoon than go to a "night club"?

Relaxing is a GOOD thing!

JustRun said...

I think it must be more because you know how to prioritize now. It's about what's important to us at the time. Like now, I have a billion and ten things going on but still have no problem sitting home in my sweats like I did last Saturday. It was great.

Anonymous said...

[mocking, whiny singsong voice]: Is this how ba-aaald men feel?

Actually, sort of. You reach a threshold of sorts where you can no longer ignore the reality of it. But in my own defense, I've always avoided the combover. I've been aided by the fact that a lot of my Hollywood heroes have grown bald ahead of me, so I can still pretend I'm a stud.


Anne said...

I quit coloring my hair about the time I turned 40. I really like my shiny silver decorative stripes. Hee-hee!

...I bet you're hot for an old broad. Just kidding, don't hurt me. :D

Roy said...

You've made me start thinking (I thought you smelled something burning) about how people age. Some celebrities aged well, some did not. I think Dan Akroyd aged well, as Ringo Starr did. Even Dennis Hopper. But I'm thinking more about their demeanor than their looks.
I mean for some of us, demeanor's all we got left.
Deserves more thought.

utenzi said...

Yeah. The getting old thing. Been there, done that. Now I have to take a nap...

carolinapurl said...

I know what you mean. I mean, I like my life now. But sometimes I look at my guitars and my amps and I think, damn, I used to actually play those things, on a stage, in front of people. Now I'm not sure I could even plug in the whole rig without help. I miss that part of me a lot sometimes. It's hard being a white church girl.

Roy said...

But sometimes I look at my guitars and my amps and I think, damn, I used to actually play those things,

Cool. What do you have? And what do you play?

Cravey said...

Roy, that last comment was left by carolina purl (see my links) she's the singer musician etc., not to mention very very cool for a white church girl.

Ask her, cuz although I work with her, I don't know nuthin' bout guitars.


tiff said...

dood - what you need is some good old fashioned TROUBLE.

Hells yes. It's tiem to go "Woo" in a crowd fulla people. It's time to run wild through the streets, like a bull at Pamplona. It's time to knock back a few, cuss at strangers, set fire to your 401 K, and hit to open road, because YOU are a free spirit and don't NEED the fine, stable, respectable, calm, cenetered, worthwhile life you've built around yourself while you were busy growing up.


Alla what you did goes into alla what you're doing now. We make of those things what's right for the time....

Still though - you ever want to knock a few back and cuss at random strangers, I'm your girl.

Biff Spiffy said...

What book was that?

I'm down with cussing at beer and knocking back a few strangers, but you leave my hair outta this.

You're doing fine as an adult. More focused than I am most days. Good on yer.