I too, got nuthin'

Brian sent me an email the other day, complaining about my lack of posting these days, his very words were “your life can’t be as boring as mine”.
It is.
Well, except for those items I shouldn’t talk about until I’ve had time in front of a judge.*

Offered as proof here’s how my day went yesterday.

I had a very big, face to face meeting with a client for a new project.
The meeting starts earlier than I would normally go in, so I left early, with the plans of stopping at a nearby coffee place for tea and a bagel.
(me – Me CSG – coffee shop girl)

Me: Hi. I’d like a skim chai and a toasted grain bagel with peanut butter please.
CSG: What size? And you want t a cinnamon roll? They are just out of the oven and still warm, and really good!
Me: a medium please, and no, just the bagel.
CSG: You sure? How about a muffin?
Me: No, thanks, just the bagel.
CSG: ringing up my order, and out of the corner of my eye, I see “muffin” flash across the cash register and sigh.
CSG: What kind of muffin again?
Me: I didn’t order a muffin, I ordered a toasted grain bagel.
CSG: oh dear.. looks around. Makes eye contact with other coffee shop employee (OCSE), he sees the deer in the headlights look and comes over.
CSG: almost wailing… Fix it!
Other CSE: Fix what?
CSG: Well she ordered a bagel, and I rung up a muffin..
OCSE: Did you want cream cheese or anything?
Me: Peanut butter.
OCSE: Never mind, just leave it.
CSG: I’M SO SO SO SORRY.
ME: It’s okay. As my chai is being handed to me by OCSE, can I just get my bagel?
CSG: Oh. Yes. Scrambling to start it.. I’m so so so sorry.
Me: Ok. handing me a bag with (presumably) my bagel. I’m so so so sorry.
ME: okay.

Everyone can have a bad day right? For all I know her cat died and her favorite bra disintegrated in the dryer. I got my breakfast, and that’s all that matters, right?
Almost.
In the bag? An untoasted everything bagel with cream cheese.
Whatever.

So, I arrive at the office ahead of schedule and have not spilled any of my chai on my meet the client clothes. (Bonus!)

This is the meeting where we introduce ourselves and explain what we as individuals do on team PDQ for Company ABC. I am not a fan of public speaking in any fashion which equals I am not a fan of these meetings. No matter how many I attend, about 6 minutes before I have to give my departments shuffle-ball-change-shuffle – I become absolutely convinced that one of the client attendees is going to morph into my 10th grade Geometry teacher and start demanding I explain Pythagorus’ Theorem or calculate the hypotenuse. No, I’ m not kidding, I wish I was. I can feel my heart rate pick up, and my hands get sweaty. I always find myself talking myself into deep breaths and tuning out whoever is speaking. (PS.. this isn’t really a good idea in a meeting; I usually find myself being jolted back to the meeting because someone says my department name and I have to bite my tongue to keep myself from shouting out Equilateral! Isosceles!).

I got through it but forgot to sit on my hands, therefore the deaf population was utterly bewildered by my wild and constant hand gestures. However, I didn’t say shit (or worse) once (double bonus!). The man to my right was my primary contact for my section of the project and he had a great sense of humor and seemed to not find me a gigantic gesticulating idiot (this may have been aided by the fact that I didn't jab him once while flailing my arms about during my speech). I only made one reference to the Hooters down the road** and soon afterwards quicky and quietly made my escape. I suppose I’ll find out today if I’ve been replaced. I hear there's a local coffee shop that's hiring.

Now I’m sure you’re expecting some great finish here. There isn’t one. I came home, worked with my dogs, and made chicken pot pie for dinner.

See? I got nuthin’.

Happy weekend friends.

*Just kidding, almost.
**yeah, really.