Sunday, December 31, 2006

End of the Year Post

Everyone does some kind of retrospective of the past year, VH1, MSNBC, even BabaWawa (why? why? why?) , and I keep feeling like I need to do something to "wrap up the year." Unfortunately, my life is too tidy to need that kind of review (and if you read my dating review - shut up). If I look inward, my goals for the coming year include running a half and a full marathon, saving more money each month, and spending more time with friends. See?...kinda tidy.. maybe that makes me dull, totally possible.

The news has been full these last few weeks, but I'm so .. over politics that I can't bring myself to write about that. Okay, one thing...I'm really bothered that Saddam's execution was the lead news story yesterday morning, while Gerald Ford was #2. Shouldn't the death of OUR (former) president have been #1?

I'm sad about James Brown. I can't say I was a life-long fan or even know his music beyond the ones everyone knows...but that man had color..and spunk..and I'm sad he's gone.

My mom told me some things over her Christmas visit; she told me her "last expenses" were paid for, her living will was updated, and that she wasn't going to be sad anymore. My mom isn't unwell. She's 74, walks about 4 miles/day, and keeps up with my sisters kids with no problem. The sad part, that's about my brother, her oldest son, on January 5th he will have been dead for 3 years. While the family is healing, we still can't sit down at a table together without feeling his absence like a knife between our ribs. It's just too hard without him. I spoke to him last on New Years Eve 2003, we wished each other a happy new year, and exchanged I love yous. Five days later I was returning a phone call to the Fairfax County Police Department with a sick feeling in my stomach..just knowing this couldn't be good. I don't know if she'll pull it off, the not being sad thing. I can't imagine how she feels losing him, really can't even come close to it. For me, the sadness has been slow to go, but there are days when it's with me..like another person riding in the car with me and no matter how I try, I can't drop it off.

My friend Staci, who's a major source of inspiration (and laughter) for me, said her new years goal was "to live life hard" and I know just what she means. She'd argue the point with me, but this woman, she's fearless. I'll be spending the first weekend of the shiny new year with her and another friend (who will very possibly get us arrested or at least in a fistfight), learning to snowboard. I'm hoping along with some memories I take home some of Staci's fearlessness and zest for living in my duffel bag. She'll share, I know it.

So, it looks like I've got some work to do in the coming year. Maybe tonight, in preparation, I should just get some damn sleep.

6 comments:

tlkaply said...

This was an excellent post.Thanks.

Biff Spiffy said...

Ditto TL. I'm sorry for your loss, hope for peace for your family this year.

Most excellent on the learning to snowboard - I'm far to old (chicken) to try. I can get down a hill just fine on 2 sticks, and have watched the learning curve on others from the chairlifts. Why would I want to spend $50, plus a week's worth of hot tubs and chiropractors for THAT?!? Good luck, I bet you'll own the hill.

Marisol said...

GREAT POST!

From the girl who fell from a horse onto her fat arse this weekend; enjoy your snowboarding and grab that zest for living wherever you can get it. I'd trade a chiro visit or 12 for another chance at that horse anyday...just need a few days to nurse my tailbone.

Happy 2007 to ya!

Lace said...

Happy 2007 Jenny. My Mom did the living will thing this year too. She was inspired by Terry Shiavo.

I'm so glad you're back. Have fun snowboarding!

Wordnerd said...

Sounds like mom has her stuff together -- that's awesome. Looks like we lost someone at around the same time -- I feel for you, because these times are tough, and some days are much harder than others. But we get thru them, don't we?

On a happier note -- stay safe with Staci & friends, but have a blast! We'll look forward to hearing your stories!

space said...

jen, honey, there's courage to spare, found in s'mores and stoli hot chocolates and trips down the mountain.

i met my mayor tonight. and i thought about telling him about this woman i know who calls her mayor about stray dogs and highways... courage comes in many flavors.