I hate, hate, hate clothes shopping. MALL is the only four-letter word that makes me wince. That being said, there are a times when I need to just blow some cash, and have found there are some forms of 'retail therapy' that work for me. Underwear, shoes, lipstick and perfume. Try not to laugh, these totally make sense, there's little need to try anything on, and where underwear is concerned, I can get a lot for my money. I've never been clothes shopping where I came home with something new to wear every single day of the coming week; but when I shop for underwear, I can totally do this. Okay, granted, I don't get to show off my purchases, and if I do, I'm not telling you people about it. Also underwear, perfume and makeup usually come in pretty bags with fun tissue paper. Makes a tomboy feel girlie. It's nice.
So today, I decided to go underwear shopping because nothing says happy new year like new panties, and you know, I got gift cards for Christmas. So off I went.
Now, every time I go into VS there's a handful of men that have been dragged into the store by their wives or girlfriends. Every now and then, you'll catch them looking at other women, but I swear it's in an attempt to not get caught staring at a table full of thongs. Whoever dragged them into the pink pagoda of panties is always trying something on, leaving the poor man stranded. Okay, so here’s the confession. Every time I see this uncomfortable looking guy, I make a point to talk to him. I usually wander over to the table closest to him hold something up and say “whaddya think?” or “do you like this?” Inevitably, they blush and stutter out something about their girlfriend or wife being in the dressing room. If they get this far with me, I follow that up with, “So, does she like girls too?” Today, after that line, I got the best response EVER. He shook his head, swallowed, and said “I need air” and abruptly walked out of the store. I might have ruptured something I was laughing so hard.
This isn’t nice. I shouldn’t be doing this.
I’m sure one day this will backfire on me.