Sunday, January 21, 2007

Tonight I'm gonna party like it's ...............2034?

I have a friend who’s spent most of her adult life fighting one horrible thing after another. It started in high school with bulimia, in undergraduate alcoholism emerged.

She’s got herself together these days, more completely than many of my friends that never struggled with things like this. Yet she remains aware of her demons. You can hear it sometimes if you’re paying attentions. She doesn’t draw attention to it, so if you miss it, it’s gone. She doesn’t make abstaining from these things sound easy, but she makes it sound possible, manageable and necessary. I'm proud of her accomplishments in these areas more than any of the others, and that's saying something.

The other night we were talking about something else entirely. Something about an email sent in error making her feel crazy. While funny for me, she was genuinely upset by this turn of events. During this discussion, she revealed to me that she has decided and discussed with her loved ones that in the year 2035 she’s throwing in the towel and giving in to all her vices. She’ll be 65 that year. She figures she’ll have had her brilliant career, raised any children she may have had, her folks will have passed away, there will be noone left to disappoint. Additionally, any of the "normal" side effects of drinking and bingeing will be okay or at least explainable at 65. Forgetful? Alzheimer’s. Overweight? Two kids and 65 years brother, get off my back!

While stressing about her email, she mentioned that she should go into organic farming; something less stressful. My suggestion was organic potato and dairy farming. That way, in 2035 when it’s time to fall of the wagon, we’ve got potatoes for vodka and cows for ice cream. That’s right, I said “we” I’m so not missing the vodka and ice cream New Years Eve party of 2034.

This changes everything.

22 comments:

Anonymous said...

I ate a box of Krispy Kreme donoughts this weekend. I will have to put that action off until the party too ;)

Wiggy said...

...who’s spent most of her adult life fighting one horrible thing after another...

Man oh man, I can completely relate to your friend. I've had company of my demons so long, I can name them by their shadows alone.

Is there an age limit on the party? I'll be 77 in 1035 (if I make it that long...) But, I've actually had quite a bit of experience with a fairly large organic garden - could help if my (upcoming) Alzheimer's hasn't kicked in too badly...

tiff said...

Save an acre or two for some corn, and I'll drink my whiskey with ya!!!

Cravey said...

Anonymous...mmmmm. warm krispy cremes.

Wiggy...age limits? hells no..as long as you're "legal"

Tiff... you're on!

Anonymous said...

I'll be 77 in 1035

Gee, too bad, Wiggy. There's a rumour that the Normans plan to conquer England, around 1066, but you'll probably be too old to actually ride into battle by then. Let's see...next reincarnation you'll be in San Francisco--maybe after that one you and I can lead the charge when the United Blue States of America invades the Republic of Texas. I'll see you then---I'll be the one with the bright orange molecular disrupter and the red rose in my lapel.

Roy

Cravey said...

Roy...doesn't miss a thing.
:)

Anonymous said...

I should clarify that I did not eat the box, that would probably not have been so bad--but, I instead ate all the donoughts (Why am I having trouble spelling this word?) in the box, which was both really good, and really bad ;)

--Gary

Anonymous said...

I should clarify that I did not eat the box, that would probably not have been so bad--but, I instead ate all the donoughts (Why am I having trouble spelling this word?) in the box, which was both really good, and really bad ;)

--Gary

Anonymous said...

You can delete my double post. I did not do that on purpose to clarify ;)

Also, I am showing up anyways; even if I am not invited. If we are returning to the good ol' dayz, I would feel better crashing uninvited. Besides, ice cream will be easy to chew.

--Gary

Cravey said...

Gary,
You're totally invited..or not if you'd, as you say, rather crash.
Bring Jimi.
:D

Wiggy said...

Gee, too bad, Wiggy. There's a rumour that the Normans plan to conquer England, around 1066, but you'll probably be too old to actually ride into battle by then.

Oh - gee - I meant when everything goes around and comes around again.

Sort of.

[blurp]

I'll see you then---I'll be the one with the bright orange molecular disrupter and the red rose in my lapel.

Sounds like fun! Is this the reincarnation before or after the biscotti in your ear? I'll be looking for either - er - or both(!)

Roy said...

before or after the biscotti in your ear?

Perhaps a combination. We'll meet in Morocco, then?

Well, I think we've hijacked poor Cravey's comments long enough, and she's probably sure we're both crazy.

Roy said...

I should clarify that I did not eat the box . . .

Huh. I'm on a diet where I can't eat donuts, but I can eat the box they came in. Also brussel sprouts. A-aaaall I want. Which is, like, one-fourth of a brussel sprout.

And steam. I can have steam. And of course celery, or plywood.

Boy is my mouth watering.

Biff Spiffy said...

LMAO! Celery and steam are good for the... good for... uh, nothin. That's what I got.

I'll heave my wrinkly old ass over there too, as long as Tiff's bringing the whiskey. And you have a blender, to puree my succotash.

Biff Spiffy said...

PS - like the green, now put your picture back up, dammit.

rennratt said...

I'll be 64 in 2035.

I'll bring my AARP card for extra discounts.

I will also cover the gardening.

Wordnerd said...

Um, I'll be on freakin' LIFE support in 2035, but count me in!!!

Anonymous said...

Ill be right there by biffs side!
Mrs.spiffy

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Cravey said...

Methinks we need a bigger house!
Yay! I loves me a party!

kenju said...

Ah....it seems I HAVE been here before, I just didn't realize it. (no one but you will understand that). It was great to meet you today and I hope it is the start of a long HIRABA relationship.

utenzi said...

Organic farming? That can indeed be quite a balancing act. It takes experience and some talent to pull it off. Spuds and cows might work out tho.