Staci's quote

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?...”
Marianne Williamson

One of my sister-friends has this quote in it’s entirety on her web page. I’ve gone to her page to read it once a week now for about a month. I keep coming back to it - there is something here for me.

I’ve been accused on more than one occasion of being “dark and twisty” and I can’t totally disagree. Left to wander in my own mind, I tend to lean heavily towards the dark, the worst-case scenario, even when it brings me to tears, as it often does. I don’t know when this started, or why.

This quote has left me wondering if it’s a cop-out. Is it simply easier for me to think of the downside then to imagine the possibility of the upside?

Aside from the uncharacteristic brutal cold that is gripping my fair home state this week this was a near perfect day for me. The sky was so sharply blue against the winter landscape it looked like it would cut you. There was snow in my yard and on my car when I left the house, just enough to be pretty. My biggest worry was whether or not 7 layers was enough.

At lunch with my dog trainers – my dog and I were complimented, my dog even toasted. The year ahead for him, is looking very bright, and I am in love with the journey. JR said he admired my patience in dog training (if you know me, I’ll wait for you to stop laughing at the idea of me being patient) and wanted to know where I got that. The only answer I had was that I really am enjoying the process. I read my dog well, and when I see him get frustrated, I don’t find myself frustrated, I find myself asking myself, ‘how can I make this clear to him?’. When I see the light bulb go on for him.. I am insanely proud and I catch myself imagining the possibilities. The best ones.

A friend has invited me to run a half marathon with her this spring. If I can just stay injury free, I’m going to make it happen - we are both normally solitary runners. We can and occasionally do run with others which is something I (sort of) enjoy but still feel a little awkward about. Ms. Manners didn’t include a running partner segment in any of her books, and frankly, I suck at being polite when I’m sweating my arse off. This friend though, we are in sync when 900 miles separate us. I have no doubt that running with her will be as natural as lacing my shoes before I start.

Already, there have been opportunities presented to me this year I’ve never even considered. I’m amazed and excited, and yes, a little freaked out, but for the most part, I am happy to see them come my way, grateful for a chance at something bigger than I imagined.

I will not ask for more than moments of contentment with the (scary) unknown things ahead. I’m far more comfortable with my dark side, but this year, maybe I’ll follow some running advice and just “get comfortable being uncomfortable."

If change was easy, it'd be boring.

The James Bond Meme (shaken not stirred - there are no nearly naked chicks here)

Brian tagged for the aforetmentioned, Cravey nicknamed James Bond meme - this time, instead of me telling on myself, I had to ask my friends to tell on me., and they were only too happy to oblige - no surprise there. Here's the results:


From Renn:
Cravey is handier around the house than most men, and generally more reliable.

She also doesn't suffer fools.


(Is this Renn, or what? Short, to the point and funny. Me likey)





From The Real Mandaroo:
cravey cusses at loved ones when she sleeps*

cravey likes to drink and watch little kids bust their ass*


cravey is a splitter. she'll split things with you in a restaurant. and she knows that crab cakes and green tomatoes make total sense.

*best friend in a hurty time

*will tell you what you need to hear and not bullshit you.

*has a mad crush on rob zombie. which if you see his movies...makes you say, 'huh?' cuz he's fucked up.

*likes a little righteous violence

*eats desert for breakfast


this is why i love cravey


(love you back roo)

From the double-secret-probation-blogger-formerly-known-as-prince (ok, not exactly but I'm not sure he doesn't want to remain anonymous)

From your blog, you're a Christmas-hating curmudgeon who loves running, German shepherds, close friends, and having your house unmolested.

The less obvious stuff: you are intimidatingly kind and pretty, smarter than most people, easy-going as long as things are going your way, incredibly generous, and you smile all the time.

(hands down, one of the nicest things anyone a relative stranger has said to me, EVER)

From the magnanimous Tiff:

1) you are a hysterically funny woman
2) you have a penchant for terrifically ugly running shoes

I thought of a bunch of other things, but then realized that because who you are on your blog is very much the same as who you are in person, I'd just be saying what people already know.
oh wait.

3) you have stunning green eyes.
4) you know that lipstick is a girl's best friend

Okay, I think I was supposed to have six people respond, but only these guys responded, so that's all you get, and other than typos (Tiff) there was no editing. Really. It appears, these people really do like me.

Which seems as good a way to end a year as any.

Very best wishes to all of you in 2008.

I like you back.