Sunday, June 17, 2007

My Boobs, Great TV, and please pass the Ice Pick

Alrighty then.

Just about every plan I had this weekend kind of fell apart so I ended up with a whole lotta nothing going on. A more ambitious homeowner would have spent the weekend cleaning or doing yard work.

I, ran, went shopping, played with my dogs, watched TV, and eavesdropped on my neighbors.
It’s worth noting, I think, that the last one was unintentional.

I (on purpose) went to a mall. Aside from the kiosk Nazis that wanted to sell me new gutters, or straighten my hair, or spray me with ‘genuine impostor perfume’ I was still far less irritated than is my usual custom. So I found myself in various dressing rooms. While I’ll freely admit my figure is not that of a 12 year old boy, I’m not the owner of TL’s bodacious rack either. So someone, anyone, pretty please ‘splain to me what exactly is up with the chestal area of women’s clothing these days. Everything I put on either compressed the girls so much I felt like a deep breath would result in a button popping experience that could potentially be hazardous to the eyes of anyone in the room with me, or just the opposite, to the point of me wondering where ‘they’ went. Is there something up in the fashion world I’ve missed? I’m 37. This isn’t the first time I’ve been shopping. It’s not even the first time I’ve been shopping in these stores. I’ve had these very same boobs my whole life, with very little variation. So uh, what gives? Is it just now in vogue to walk around with your chest looking like two puppies fighting under a rug? Really? Can I pass on this particular trend? Yeah? Cuz I’m gonna.

I stumbled on some great TV this weekend, Dirty Jobs with Mike Rowe. I can’t be the only one watching this show, right? Aside from Mike Rowe just being cute as hell, his irreverence and ability to make an awful situation so much worse is uncanny, and hysterically funny. He also seems to be one of three people on the planet who probably have found their true calling in life. (The other 2 being, Richard Simmons and Alice Cooper [okay then, you tell me what other jobs those two would have had]). I killed more hours than I’m willing to admit watching this show over the weekend. And I have to agree with Mike, ‘time flies when you’re having fun, and it moves much slower when you’re cleaning up poop.”

Lastly, while sitting on my deck late Saturday evening drinking wine I had the unpleasant experience of hearing my neighbors. Yeah. Hearing. Them. I’m still trying to block the memory (it’s why I asked for the ice pick). Here’s a question. Am I the only woman in the world that finds that “Daddy” stuff downright creepy? I had to share this because frankly, I can’t carry this one on my own.

Thankyouverymuch mother nature for returning the temps to such that windows in my neighborhood are closed again.

We can all hope my weekend plans don’t get cancelled next weekend, now can’t we?


Her Roo-ness said...

My boobs, are not your boobs. Obviously, because THEN we'd HAVE to live much closer and then i dunno how we'd work out custody or booby one of us hold on to them while the other went running or...never mind.
However, I am continually frustrated by the way clothes these days make them fall out. Jeeze o peats man. Who said that you want to show the top inch of your bra? Or that cut down below where cleavage is, is hot. Not to mention that as a frustrated visitor to the cleavage of the world, i see WAY more than I want to. I like tank tops. I like spaghetti straps. I do not like having my business hanging out for all to see. I went to a bbq joint with my pops today. And behind him facing me was a girl with her business ALL hanging out. Good gravey. However, when I left, I saw her dining companion WAS HER DADDY!!!! and not in the who's your daddy kind of way that your neighbors have going on (ew, btw) i abruptly, in the middle of the resturant thanked MY dad for teaching me not to let my business hang all out there. i also turned around and thanked my mom for teaching me to chew with my mouth closed (which this girls parents had also neglected to do).
p.s. i have been cleaning a lot of poo lately. but when i was 19-20 I did it for a job. Time does NOT fly.
i told you to come to my house....

Biff Spiffy said...

You and your posts are freakin' awesome. I have no teevee currently, but I've been known to watch the Mike Rowe. I never thought he was much cute, but that's mostly because I don't swang that way. I would totally do his job. In fact, I've had a few jobs that he could feature.

Nope, I don't get the 'daddy' thing either, don't care to, and hope I never have that happen to me. (I would have expected you to join the chorus, shouting back over your drink...)

tiff said...

Dood - those shirts? I hold one up that says XL and it's barely 8 inches wide. That's just not right.

Also - the Daddy thing? Full-body shiver. Another thing that's just not right. Yeeeeesh.

utenzi said...

Can't comment on the boob thing, Cravey, since I don't need to consider that "feature" when shopping for clothing.

I've watched about 12 episodes of "Dirty Jobs" and I like them enough to occasionally watch but not enough to set up a recording schedule for them. I think Mike Rowe also does the voice overs for "The Deadliest Catch" show on Discover.

wordnerd1 said...

Um, yeah, Mike Rowe, ahem.

You know you have a great post when people don't even have to read past the title and already they've been entertained.

kenju said...

I Like Mike Rowe too. Ine episode fund him deep in the sewers of LA, and it is horrible!

I wonder when it became common to show your boobs to the world? My husband wonders why they didn't grow 'em like that when he was a boy....LOL

Anne said...

You know what I wonder about? Breast reductions... Why?? I mean, when's the last time you heard a man say, You know, my penis is just too big, I think I'll get it reduced.

And the "daddy" stuff - Eeeeeewww!!!

Kingfisher said...

First she professes her love for me, then she talks about her boobs...

Hooz yoor Daddy?!

rennratt said...

I love me some Mike Rowe. I would watch him...breathe, I think.

He's on my list of future husbands.

If *Your* girls are like mine, they prefer full cover and much quiet. Beloved Ditz routinely wears shirts that threaten chestal integrity, and I fear that the men in the office may have heart attacks. Just not enough mystery with THAT girl...

And the "daddy" stuff? GAH! What is wrong with people?!