Friday, August 24, 2007


I pretty much forget how small my little town in NC is until a reminder is kindly taped to my door.

That something, this time, was a handwritten note Cindy at the Town Government telling me I had mailed my water/trash/recycling bill in a timely fashion, however I neglected to actually enclose a check. (A pretty smooth move if I do say so myself.)

I called the number on the nice little handwritten note, and:

Cindy: Town of Bladdey Blah, can I help you?

Me: Hi, This is Cravey, and I…

Cindy: Oh hi Cravey! You got our note then?

Me: (thinking she recognizes my name?) Yes, I guess I forgot to include the check.

Cindy: Oh don’t worry honey, we all do that sometimes! (me thinking we do?)

Me: Um, okay, can I just come by tomorrow and drop off the check?

Cindy: Of course! You know where we are?

Me: Yes, I think so.

Cindy: Great, see you tomorrow then.

This morning I ran by to drop off the check and:

Desk lady: Can I help you?

Me: Hi, My name is Cravey and I....

Desk lady: Oh Right! (laughing) You forgot your check!

Me: Writing check – wondering what happened to the nameless faceless bureaucracies I’m USED to.

Desk lady: Thank you honey! Have a nice weekend.

I am from Washington DC.
I lived in the same condo for 10 YEARS.
I never even knew my neighbors last names.

Where the hockey puck am I ?


Tracy Kaply said...

Dude, welcome to small town America. Creepy, isn't it? And yet, kinda nice, all at the same time.

roo said...

um. are you SURE i'm going to be ok if I come to visit? more importantly...what if D and i come together sometime AND we all go visit andre and his family???
i dunno...
have i told you i am convinced that you and the pats (family mentioned previously) have come into my life because i am scared of all that is below the mason dixon line?
its called string-em-up-phobia

Kingfisher said...

Man, that is great. I wish I lived there.

But I bet that all you need to do is masturbate in front of your dog and you're a pariah.

kenju said...

Oh, KF, that might not be all you'd have to do.....LOL

Cravey, please don't tell me that you prefer it the DC way!!

Anne said...

Wow, I'm not used to that. Kinda creepy how much they seem to know about you. Watch your step. And never ever masturbate in front of your dog. (That would be weird anyway.) :p

handy said...

Wow... I'm a pariah.....

rennratt said...

JC, Welcome to the Great Woods.

Did they call you Sugar (good) or Darlin' (also ok)?

You will forevermore be known as Cravey, the Dizzy Northerner (or Yankee).

If they "Blessed your Heart", beware. It's southern for 'poor, stupid child'.

yournamehere said...

To make up for this, you're going to have to take one hell of a casserole to the church social.

tiff said...

Dude - they're WATCHING YOU!!!


utenzi said...

That's funny. I like being anonymous so I'd hate that experience. After 4 years of living where I do, I know the names of my 4 nearest neighbors--and I knew those in the first week. I feel no urge to be more gregarious

wordnerd said...

I think I'm your neighbor, I swear! One day Mr. Nerd called the local post office to ask a question and as soon as he got his name out, the woman addressed him, told him she was our carrier and that she had our mail right there, what did he need, etc. I love it. Have you EVER tried calling the USPS? Bwah ha HA!

6truck said...

LOL...I don;t know what to write first:

1. remember the story I told you about Mark, Pete, and moving to Shadyside?

2. There are advantages to nameless faceless bureaucracies- one of them being that the local H2O Authority receptionist won't be pointing you out to her sister in the local supermarket as "that dumbass who likes to waste postage" or something like that...

3. Is your hair still blond? or just the roots?

-your PAL,